Apr. 11th, 2006

morgannalefey: (Default)
I play on this mud that is roleplay intensive, and where death is permanent. My husband wrote a really great review and explanation for why Harshlands is such a fantastic place to roleplay, no point in my trying to recreate that here. But do go read it, it's very well thought out.

My character has had a difficult life (well who would want to play someone who was a serf, planted crops, didn't do anything, then died of old age? ok, maybe me now...).

She was raised in a farm village, daughter of a Yeoman who stepped out on his wife, but still got her with eight children (two of whom died as infants). Aelwyd was third of six surviving children, and the sister to two fantastically beautiful females, so always was referred to as the "plain one". She's not really ugly, and maybe a bit more than just plain, but she always thought of herself that way.

Early on she fell in love (or so she thought, she knows better now) with a glutton who had a miser for a father and was using her to get more/better food than he could get at home. Maybe he thought he loved her, too. She married at age sixteen, and as soon as the food portion of her dowry was exhausted and she was stuck trying to develop new and creative ways for serving turnips, he became like is father and beat her regularly. He was also fairly lustful, and would take her pretty much wherever he felt like, without any regard for what she might be doing at the time.

She didn't really have anywhere to go, and the people in her village were no help at all. So she just resolved to escape as soon as the opportunity presented itself. But the first order of business was not to have any children. Fortunately in Harn (where Harshlands is set) they have contraceptive teas. So she managed to avoid getting pregnant for the two years they were married. Her mother in law always claimed she was cursed, since she never got pregnant, despite her son planting his seeds regularly...

When Aelwyd was eighteen, her husband died from eating too much mutton stew that had just turned. The rest of the family got ill, but he died because he ate so much. She was free of him, and had discovered her father in law's secret hoard of coins some time ago. She helped herself to what she thought fair wages for the two years she'd slaved on his farm, and ran to the nearest big city that was far enough away to keep anyone from coming after her.

When she got there, she got a job right away as a cook and eventually became an apprentice innkeeper. She was pretty ripe for the picking and "fell in love" with someone unsuitable for her, because he was *so* different and offered such a different life. He ran off across the sea for two years and she spent about a year and a half feeling pretty numb when she found out he wasn't really who she thought he was at all.

She finally opened up again, and fell, again, for the wrong man. This time a monk who had sworn a vow of chastity, and who, if had been released from his vow, would still be married. Though he loved her back, they could never marry or raise a family, so they decided she needed to marry a good man, and he'd help her find one.

Edamar had been engaged to her first, and closest, friend when she got to Tashal. She'd always felt a soft spot for him. Her friend died to some wolves and Edamar had grieved a great deal for her. They'd been very much in love. In time, however, it started to fade, and Aelwyd's quiet devotion crept into his heart. Eventually, he came to realize he loved her, and sought her love.

Aelwyd had never thought of Edamar in that light, but in him she saw the solution to some of her problems. She made up her mind to love him, rather more than actually loving him at first. Eventually she settled into the new relationship glow, and it felt better than her other relationships, so she decided she was doing the right thing and that deep love would grow. She never told Edamar this, but she didn't love him as much as he loved her. She was certain she would, in time, love him more than he loved her.

She hadn't stopped loving the monk, either, and was working her way through dealing with the fact that it was possible to actually love two men.

Then tragedy struck. Edamar, either fleeing from wolves, or intent on avenging the death of his family before he married Aelwyd, got killed by gargun (orcs).

The reasons for this are pretty simple, the player of Edamar's wife didn't want him to marry anyone in game (do NOT get me started on what I think about THAT), and he hadn't checked with her on that point before he'd gotten involved with Aelwyd. Given the circumstances, we decided Edamar's death would be best all around in the long run, and create some powerful dramatic scenes to play out. This happened last night...

What I hadn't counted on was how I, the player, would feel.

I've been playing muds for over ten years now, but never a mud where death was permanent. I woke up this morning and thought, "Edamar is dead". I actually cried in the shower a little bit when I remembered the pitcher of milk that Edamar had bought for Aelwyd one morning after she'd fallen asleep on the couch in his house and he'd watched over her all night. There are dozens of examples of memories Aelwyd built with Edamar in the short time they courted that bring tears to my eyes to think about now.

If I'd been watching this in a movie, I'd have been crying as well. It was very moving, very dramatic, and I guess I'm going to need to work through the grief as much as Aelwyd will have to. Fortunately I have a loving husband who also plays, and who also was crying at the temple where Edamar's body was laid out. So at least he won't think I'm insane.

I'll post the log of Aelwyd saying goodbye to Edamar next.
morgannalefey: (Default)
You begin walking northward, with slow, tired steps.
Hall of Ritual

Tall columns support the high, rounded ceiling of this light and airy room. A fresh breeze flows through open windows which admit air and sunlight when weather permits. Crafted of off-white marble, this place of high rituals has very few decorations; only a wheat motiff on the lengths of the columns. A raised platform with a podium stands at the end of the hall. A basin filled with water stands in front of the podium. Two small booths for private ceremonies and confessions are to the east and west, wicker screens assuring privacy. The entrance hall is to the south.

The corpse of Edamar is lying here on a raised platform, being prepared for burial.
A young man in green robes tends to his daily chores.
A young woman wearing yellow robes sees to some chores about the church.
A matronly woman stands here, smiling kindly to all who pass.

Aelwyd stands still for a moment, gazing at the corpse of Edamar.

It is the corpse of Edamar.
It has a minor bite on the left knee, a small notch on the thorax, a minor gore on the hips, a small bite on the hips, a minor tooth-puncture on the left calf, a minor bite on the right upper arm, a minor laceration on the left knee, a minor laceration on the right upper arm, a moderate slice on the right thigh, a moderate gash on the skull, a small nick on the left thigh, a minor nick on the thorax, a small nick on the thorax, a small slash on the right calf, a small slash on the right upper arm, a small laceration on the abdomen, a small cut on the abdomen, a small gash on the face, a small cut on the thorax, a small cut on the abdomen, a small cut on the abdomen, a minor gash on the left thigh, a small laceration on the hips, a small slash on the left elbow, a minor laceration on the thorax, a minor gash on the left thigh, a minor slash on the right calf, a small laceration on the left elbow, a minor nick on the abdomen, and a minor gash on the right upper arm.

Aelwyd swallows a sob and moves over to the corpse of Edamar.

Aelwyd dips a clean rag in a blue ceramic bowl containing water then wrings out some of the water and leans close to the corpse of Edamar. She gently starts washing his face, murmuring, 'Your face wants washing. You always were so messy.'

You say in Harnic, continuing dipping a clean rag into a blue ceramic bowl containing water, then washing very tenderly, cleaning off the dirt and blood,
"This is th' bowl an' the cloth I used first time I washed your face, remember? It's water from th' barrel you brought me, all filled with water from th' fountain here at th' temple. You always thought that water tasted best, you said."

Isidora is entering from the south.

You say in Harnic, speaking gently to the corpse of Edamar,
"You shoulda listened when Peoni was tellin' you not t' go up there."

Aelwyd keeps washing the corpse of Edamar with a clean rag, dipping it into a blue ceramic bowl containing water to rinse it out once in a while.

You say in Harnic, gazing at the corpse of Edamar with loving eyes, strangely devoid of tears,
"Remember when we was sayin' how many kids we'd want? An' you said... you said you wanted three. I said that sounded good... I was lyin'. I wanted t' keep havin' your babies until I couldn't any more. Dozens of 'em if that's what we had."

You say in Harnic, speaking softly to the corpse of Edamar,
"I figured six was a good number t' have. Lots of hands t' make light work, but maybe three would have been enough."

You say in Harnic, speaking to the corpse of Edamar,
"I'd give anything for jus' one now."

Isidora lingers near a tall column, standing silently as she looks towards the body.

You say in Harnic, dipping a clean rag again to rinse it and working down the corpse of Edamar's arms,
"I remember when you picked me up th' first time, how surprised I was at how strong you were. You didn't quite look like it."

You say in Harnic, speaking to *corpse,
"I bought that rosewater hopin' it'd catch you an' you'd look at me."

You say in Harnic, speaking to the corpse of Edamar,
"I never told you that."

Reb is entering from the south, walking with a mournful reluctance.
Merewyn is entering from the south.

Aelwyd finishes washing the corpse of Edamar and just gazes down at him thoughtfully.

You say in Harnic, speaking to the corpse of Edamar,
"I guess you was Scanna's all along, anyways. Maybe she really needed you."

Reb holds Merewyn's hand gently in his.

Reb sniffles and sheds a few tears at your words.

Reb walks over to you slowly, not letting go of Merewyn's hand, and hangs back a little, trying not to intrude.

Reb gets a wagon-wheel-shaped silver pin from a pale green pouch of fine linen.

Reb tells you in Harnic, holding out a wagon-wheel-shaped silver pin,
"Nate got this to give to you."

You tell Reb in Harnic, looking up at him with dry eyes,
"That's real kind of him, but he left me things in th' cottage, maybe that should be buried with him. It meant so much to him."

You say in Harnic, looking back at the corpse of Edamar,
"He's lookin' real peaceful now. Maybe he saw Scanna ... or..."

Reb tells you in Harnic, nodding, his face stoic despite his tears,
"I... I thought it should be you as chose."

Reb gives you a wagon-wheel-shaped silver pin.

Reb tells you in Harnic,
"I'm sure he's with 'er in the Meadows now."

Aelwyd clutches the pin, staring at it and turning it over in her hand.

You tell Reb in Harnic, nodding and sighing,
"He was too good for this place, I guess."

Merewyn lowers her head and remains silent as she gazes downwards.

You tell Reb in Harnic, her voice rough with anguish,
"When I went back to th' cottage I noticed he'd left some things there that weren't b'fore. I think... he was intendin'..."

Reb tells you in Harnic,
"Don't mean he was intendin' nothin'."

You tell Reb in Harnic, her voice rough with anguish,
"I don't think he meant t' come back. I can't tell what made him do this though. Don't make sense."

Reb tells you in Harnic,
"Might just be the Gentle Lady guided his hand to see to what's needed for you."

You tell Reb in Harnic, looking slightly hopeful,
"Maybe... he was jus' movin' in ... in his mind."

You tell Reb in Harnic, her voice rough with anguish,
"I hate t' think he went lookin' for ... this."

Reb tells you in Harnic,
"She knew you'd be needin' now and she'd be able to see to all his needs in the Meadows, so she'd guide his hand to see to them needs as have to be met here."

You tell Reb in Harnic, looking more at ease,
"Aye.. aye that must be it. She's always lookin' out for us, even when we need t' go."

Reb tells you in Harnic, apologetically,
"Nate said as the keys he had were gone, so you'll need to see to gettin' all the locks changed. I told Master Jere for to be expectin' you so's he could be prepared."

Isidora slips out of the ritual hall, turning from the body.
Isidora begins walking southward.

You tell Reb in Harnic, nodding and looking again at the corpse of Edamar,
"Aye, there's things t' be doin'. I got him clean, w-with th' water he brought me, from th' barrel he brought me."

Reb tells you in Harnic, brushing feebly at his
eyes,
"Well, if'n you need any help with any of it, you got friends what'll help."

A very short, green-cloaked person is entering from the south, her red skirts rustling softly.

You tell Reb in Harnic, her voice rough with anguish,
"Aye, I've th' best friends anyone could be askin' for."

Melisanna lowers a long, flowing cloak of green russet's hood, revealing her features.

Reb nods to a chocolate-brown-haired, golden-brown-eyed woman.

You tell Reb in Harnic, her voice rough with anguish,
"I'll jus' go t' see Master Jer about them locks. Wouldn't do for his work an' home t' be all .... rifled through."

Melisanna lowers her hood as she looks at the corpse her expression mournful as she nods at a large, auburn-haired man and looks down before she makes the sign of the sword across her chest.

Reb asks you in Harnic,
"Anythin' else you're needin'?"

Melisanna makes her way to the dais and kneels down making the sign of the sword across her chest her eyes downcast.

Melisanna begins quietly worshipping.

Reb tells you in Harnic,
"I told Master Elliot as you might not be a couple days. I'll tell Phaedra if'n I see 'er, so's she can try to keep things up so you don't got to worry about the Lion."

Melisanna concludes her worship.

Melisanna begins quietly worshipping.

You say in Harnic, gazing down at the corpse of Edamar once more then leaning down, placing a tender kiss on his lips,
"Sleep well, dearheart. I'll see you when we're in th' Meadows with Scanna."

Reb smiles a bittersweet smile.

Melisanna concludes her worship.

You tell Reb in Harnic, smiling gratefully at him,
"Aye, thank you. Might need t' take some time at that. There's a lot t' be doin'."

Melisanna stands up and sniffles as she gazes down at the corpse in silence.

Aelwyd sighs and glances over at Melisanna, nodding to her as she passes out of the room.

Reb tells you in Harnic,
"Well, if I can do somethin' and you don't see me, tell Dunst."

You begin walking southward, with slow, tired steps.

Entry Hall

You begin walking northward, with slow, tired steps.

Hall of Ritual

You say in Harnic, speaking to the corpse of Edamar,
"I forgot... I baked these for you... you should bring 'em with you. Scanna would like 'em, too."

Aelwyd places a chicken pie on the platform next to Edamar.

The corpse of Edamar is lying here on a raised platform, being prepared for burial.
A chicken pie has been carefully placed near the corpse of Edamar.

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morgannalefey

April 2010

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